Monday, February 13, marks mine and my husband’s ‘First Meeting’ anniversary. I can’t believe it’s been 19 years now – or will be on February 13th! The Men’s Ministry at our church usually hold a Steak & Scripture Dinner Meeting about once a month (I think that’s right?). Well, this coming Monday (our ‘First Meeting’ anniversary), they are inviting the wives to join their husbands for this special time of Steak & Scripture; as a celebration of Valentine’s Day. Well, my husband asked me if I would like to go, and if so, he’d buy the tickets. I said ‘yes!’, of course. What’s really neat about all of this is, the night my husband and I met (our ‘First Meeting’), we were at a Sunday School Valentine’s Day Party – a church function. So, here we’ll be, at another church function, celebrating the meaning of Valentine’s Day with each other, on our ‘First Meeting’ anniversary. Pretty cool, huh?

Just a little health update … asthma is still kicking my keester. I really don’t like to ask for prayers for myself, because in my mind, ‘my stuff’ isn’t really as critical as those suffering far worse; but I could really use some prayers for this. I need to go to a pulmonologist, because they specialize in asthma and can provide a long-term treatment that would help me (greatly) to manage my asthma. As some already know, I have no health insurance, and our finances are super tight; naturally, this has us worried. We all know, any time you’ve got to see a ‘specialist’, you can count on a hefty bill. Well, I’m not entirely sure what my prayer request is … guidance? direction? an open door somewhere? healing? warmer weather? provision? Cold and chilly weather are a huge trigger. I can assure you, I am beyond miserable. If I laugh, I hack and gasp … If I stand up and walk 3 steps … I hack and gasp … any movement, whatsoever, triggers an attack. I’m sorry, but I just can’t live like this. There are things I need to do and get done, and there’s things that I’d like to do and get done. I’m a mom of 5 kids … what is there not to do? I really have to commend my children though … they have been super helpful!

Anywho … enough about me. During my prayer time, I’ve been lifting up some people to God, that have been weighing so heavy on my heart, that are struggling, battling, and suffering in some way or another. So, for those prayer warriors out there, and even for those who are not a prayer warrior but would like to pray as well, would you please add these people to your prayer list? This would mean so much to me, and especially to those who are being prayed for! Thank you so much!

Here they are …

My Father-in-law, Bill Whitlock – his health is poor, and I’m really concerned about depression setting in, and then there is stress on top of stress since it is tax season (he’s an accountant and runs a family accounting business).

My husband – stress from tax season, stress at home from helping me with my health and having to handle a lot on his own.

My Aunt Teresa, Aunt Becky, Uncle Tommy, Aunt Debra, Grandpa Cochran, Grandmother Davis – spiritual uplifting, health, strength, comfort, assurance, and peace.

My Niece, Megan Cochran – battling a mitochondrial disease, health, strength, courage, comfort, joy, and peace.

My husband’s Aunt Laura – the loss of her mother, comfort and strength, joy and peace, and spiritual uplifting.

My brother Michael Cochran, and my Brother-in-Law, David Whitlock – unspoken/personal.

My Fusion class leader (Sunday School class leader) Mark Tidwell – battling cancer, had surgery yesterday to remove parts of his colon, but a huge praise to the Lord for not needing a specific item, and also for his wife, Lee … they have a LOT going on in their family right now.

A friend’s father and mother, Kris & LaSydia Patterson – health, strength, comfort, guidance, peace, assurance, and spiritual uplifting.

A woman friend of mine – battling cancer, comfort, strength, courage, spiritual uplifting, and healing.

Neighbor across the street, Sam Hollingsworth – battling cancer, comfort, strength, courage, spiritual uplifting, and healing.

A friend of my brother Jimmy – brain tumor, comfort, strength, courage, healing, and guidance.

A friend of our’s father, Walt Parker – battling cancer, healing, strength, comfort, guidance, and spiritual uplifting.

Neighbors around me – need the Lord Jesus Christ, guidance, and salvation … and for me to show all of my neighbors the love of Christ, His compassion, understanding, and patience (this is a daily battle for me).

All of my children, Zach, Audrey, Josh, Samuel, and Ashlynne – to develop a closer relationship with Jesus Christ.

All of my Facebook friends – needs, blessings, love, protection

All of the people in the world who are lost, lonely, scared, hurting, dying, sick, and angry.

For yourself – to show the love of Christ, not by word or by tongue, but in deed and in truth [1 John 3:18]

Again, thank you so much, and I pray God blesses you all immensely~!

Man, I’ve got so much on my mind, it’s not even funny. Each issue, thought, idea, and/or opinion has its own set of mixed emotions, as well. Some of those things are extremely sensitive and somewhat personal (not exactly to me, but maybe to someone else). I’m really struggling with ‘how do I approach someone over some of these issues?’ and ‘how do I talk about them without destroying any relationships?’. Believe me, I’ve prayed about it all, and I will continue to pray; but I’m still stressed out. It’s really really bothering me.

Yesterday, I spent most of my time browsing through a couple of Christian bookstore sites, trying to find a Bible study that my husband and I could work through together. There were so many topics and categories to choose from, I had a hard time making up my mind. After reading through a hundred or more reviews and summaries, I finally settled for this one … Love & Respect: The Love She Most Desires / The Respect He Desperately Needs. I am so excited!! I can’t wait to get started on it. We had been talking about how we needed to get back into doing Bible studies and devotionals again, but going through them together would be completely new to us. He seemed really interested in it though, which makes me happy.

For almost a week now, my asthma has been a major problem to deal with. I know that I need to go back to the clinic to get another prednisone shot and breathing treatment, but that whole issue with finances is in the way again. I have a $889 medical bill that’s been outstanding for almost a year. Naturally, the bill collectors have been calling me … not once a day, but twice (once in the morning, and once in the evening). I’m not stupid though. Yes, I’ll go get myself taken care of … I just don’t like the idea of adding more to that bill. I told the hubby, maybe if he sent them $5 a month, they’d back off … or would they? At least we would be making an effort into trying to pay ‘em back. We did try to set up a payment plan with ‘em, but they still wanted more than what we could afford. Why do they have to be so difficult?? I’m sorry, but buying groceries for our family is far more important to us than paying a medical bill. It’ll all work out, I’m sure. God has always pulled us through in the past. I have faith in Him.

It was either this past Tuesday or Wednesday, not sure which, but I think I slept on my arm wrong. My left shoulder, and that side of my neck, have been so stinkin’ sore and stiff. They say that usually, with stiff muscles, it’s due to an inflammation. Well, I’ve been taking ibuprofen like it’s going out of style (because it’s suppose to help reduce inflammation), but it’s not working anymore. I came across some exercises that are suppose to help, but they make it hurt worse! I tell you what, when it rains, it pours. I feel like such a whiney-tootie. It’s true, the older you get, the more problems you have and the more you complain. *snort* In all seriousness though, there are many others out there that are going through far far worse than I am. That’s why I thank the Lord for what I’ve got and then pray to Him for everyone else.

Speaking of praying, which I am terrible at at times, I started another prayer journal. Gosh, it’s been yeeeeeeeeears since I last used a prayer journal. The Sunday before last, I had committed to 3 days of fasting with the church (for myself, for the church, and for our country). Well, that got me back into a prayer time again, so I bought a journal to write my prayers in. It’s much easier for me to write my prayers down instead of speaking them, so that I can keep up with what I’m praying about. It’s an OCD thing. See, when I sit and pray silently, or even out loud, it doesn’t register with my mind … so I’ll continually repeat the prayer, thinking I’ve forgotten something. It’s pretty annoying. Now, I can silently pray a short prayer and be fine … you know, like the prayers for our food. It’s just the lengthier ones I have a problem with. I’m also trying to learn to ‘be still and silent’ during my prayer time as well; but that can be practically impossible when there are a million thoughts bouncing around in my head. Oh the joys of being me.

Well, I think I’m going to sit and watch a movie. It’s easier to breathe when I’m sitting on the couch … it’s a bit more relaxing that way. I wonder if acupuncture would work for asthma? It would probably cost a fortune, with my luck. I’ve been real curious about that though.

Eight days can be a long time to not say anything, huh? I can’t wait until Spring gets here. Apparently my asthma is much more severe during the colder months. A couple of weeks ago I had to go to an Urgent Clinic (operated and owned by our local hospital) to get breathing treatments and a shot of corticosteroids. I had put off going to the clinic for about 2 weeks prior, so my asthma got really bad. It all started 2 weeks before Christmas, when I got hit with seasonal allergies. Then of course we went camping, for a week, for Christmas. I wasn’t feeling top-notch during that time, but I wasn’t terribly uncomfortable. I was just enjoying our vacation. When we got back, I felt horrible. Well, I went to the clinic and got some meds and a shot of prednisone, because I had bronchitis and an ear infection. I already knew bronchitis was coming on, because I get it every year during this time, and the symptoms were obvious. I’m such a ding dong though. Every year it comes up, I put off going to the doctor, until it gets too bad that I can’t stand it; which usually has irritated my asthma to the point I can barely breathe. The problem with bronchitis is, there’s no treatment that you can take that will make it go away. What you ‘do’ have to watch out for is pneumonia; which I’ve gotten a few times in the past. It’s also common to get an upper respiratory infection from it as well. It’s just a real pain in the keester, if ya know what I mean.

At the clinic I was instructed to rest for 2-3 weeks, and give my lungs a break from exercising. According to the documentation, asthma and exercise do not go well together, especially if it’s severe. Well, as you can imagine, I was a little disappointed. I hate to miss exercising for long periods of time, because usually it’s harder to get back into it; especially when you’re not a huge fan of it. But I was doing so well! I’m suppose to wait one more week, but I’m going to try getting back into exercising in 2 days (Monday). Surprisingly, I’ve lost some weight since I stopped a few weeks back. Nothing has really changed, so I can’t credit myself for it. However, I will credit God for it! Thank you Lord! I’m not going to press as to how and why I’ve lost it. I’ll just consider it a blessing … a gift from God. It sure is nice to feel the looseness of my clothes!

Man, it sure does feel good to be back on track with Jesus Christ again. I have learned that I can not possibly take care of everything by myself, AND that I do deserve the Lord’s help. That was a huge problem for me. I was too ashamed, of past sins, that I couldn’t bring myself to go to the Lord for anything. I’d pray and seek forgiveness, but I wouldn’t forgive myself. Finally, a few weeks ago, I just humbled myself and said “Lord Jesus, I need you. I can’t handle any of this anymore. Here, please take it all.” As I was speaking, I visualized myself raising my hands to Him, which were filled with all of my ‘stuff’, for Him to take care of. I had thought about a message I had heard a while back about how we, as Christians, should lay all of our burdens down at the cross (or something to that effect). It all really goes together with “carrying your own cross”. There was a whole lot more to that message, but that one phrase stuck to me. See, I needed to learn that I could/can not handle everything on my own. That I really do need the Lord, for everything. Even His help with forgiving myself. We all need the Lord; but there are those out there who either think they don’t deserve Him, or they think they’re handling things just fine on their own. “I am the vine, ye are the branches: He that abideth in me, and I in him, the same bringeth forth much fruit: for without me ye can do nothing.” – John 15:5 Please … especially those I love dearly … go to the Lord Jesus. Give Him all of your burdens, struggles, sufferings, and strife. Just hand it all over to Him … and admit you can not do it alone … that you do need Him.

Here is a great article about carrying your own cross … click here.

Much love to all~!